Tribewanted: Vorovoro

‘So. How do you think you’ll be after leaving the island?’

‘yeah, should be ok, having been coming and going like this for a few years now, should be ok’

A rough transcript of many conversations I have had over the last month. Everyone who comes to Vorovoro has to leave at some point and I was no exception. I’ve been in the travel industry for a few years now so have some experience in what its like to make great friendships and connections and then say ‘moce’ to them. I knew that it would be sad and a bit odd so felt quietly prepared for it. And then I left.

I have been in the south pacific for 9 months since I last saw the ‘developed world’ and like anywhere you just get used to your surrounding. Sitting in departures in Nadi all felt ok. Then into the plane, right off to NZ, this should be fun!

Sitting in the big Boeing was the inclination that something had changed. It was all so clean and sterile. Just how white it all was gave me some food for thought. But that’s ok, you just close your eyes, put on the tunes of the boys singing round the bowl and you’re back in a good space.

Touch down in Auckland and after customs all you see is concrete, steel, glass, cars, never ending movement, people in dark colours, and you feel no heat. Immediately my mind is scrambled. We get on a bus and everything in clunky, metallic and solid. Out the window is the dark sky of night lit up by low level lighting. It all feels a bit alien, a bit strange; heck I’m starting to feel a bit lost!

To the hostel and downtown Auckland and I am in a world that has my skin aching. It’s just more people, light, pavements, shops, thumping bass lines, wearing shoes, lifts, metal. To be honest I know just haven’t a clue what’s going on. We decide to go for a pint to take the edge off the day. Into a bar downstairs and the music is so loud I can’t actually think, massive tv screens showing nothing of any relevance. It seems the only way to enjoy this place is to get drunk, we finished our pint and left. We walked around the city then for about an hour just to get some air and passed a tree and I suddenly felt a bit calmer. It was then that it hit me what I was missing.

On the island, save a small bit of tin and concrete, everything around you is pretty much natural. People, wood, bamboo, singing, reeds, ocean, bright colours, sand the list goes on. You are there with it just trying to co-exist with it. It’s simple but happy. Leave it and it all feels like it has disappeared. I genuinely felt my skin ache after a morning over here. It was only when I saw the first natural thing like a tree that I realized why. In the middle of a big city it just feels like all the nature has been taken away. After feeling it on my feet, skin, face and in my mind for 9 months suddenly it had all been taken away. Wow, what a feeling! It reminded me of a time after I had just come back from living in Madrid for 9 months. By the end I was speaking and living in Spanish. I came back home and was surrounded by English everywhere. I just felt totally mentally dislocated.

The problem with trying to communicate any of this ‘sense of loss’ towards nature is that, to be honest, you sound like someone who takes themselves far too seriously. People don’t really want to hear your newly found pseudo-pronature confusions and you find yourself in danger of completely ostracizing yourself. It all just flies round your head as you look at every small detail of what’s around you and try and work out how you’ll adapt back to it. You become almost everything you promised everyone you wouldn’t. At one point I walked past a potted plant and reached out to touch it – I have never done anything like that in my life and would struggle to take anyone seriously ever again I ever saw do that! My nadir came when asked by a travel agent how we make power on the island, i unconsciously looked up and simple said ‘wind and sun.’ She just looked at me like I had been just let out of the local asylum!

However time and patience mellows you and slowly slowly you get to grips with things. Last night a great meal in a small atmospheric Japanese surrounded by culture, smell and good food; and then a run around the city this morning through the parks (running on grass, I have never enjoyed so much! – can’t believe I am saying this……….) and things start to improve. I lived like this before, I pretty confident I can do it again.

The thing is that I haven’t spent the last 48 hours feeling down or depressed, more just laughing at my utter inability to make sense of my new environment how much I have started thinking about nature and it value. I’ve had culture shock before but never nature shock! But I’ve loved the mental ride that has come with it. Not only would I have ever really considered this in such depth before, I certainly wouldn’t have dared tell anyone!